She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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