yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
