**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
