the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
