if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do herpes really smell.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
