were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
