At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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