Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
