I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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