Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
birth control should be required to get into college
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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