i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im holly from the hills drunk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We have so much sex to catch up on
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
