hotel room ftw
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
