OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
