you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
