U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
