I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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