we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
