My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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