hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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