maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
