its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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