Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
