You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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