My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
