we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
