If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
