he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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