I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
