dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
