where am i from again
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
