It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You can't just leave with hair like that
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
