Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
