Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
