i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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