He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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