This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
