At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
