Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
