He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
