If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
