im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
