I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
