watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
