I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
