Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
