I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
