Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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