I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
