oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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