first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Randomize
